Ember retained the SECF B League this year, having also won in 2019 and 2021.

Internal Competitions were won by:

Roger Stearn, beating Simon Charrington, in the AC Open Singles

The GC Singles Handicap Knockout reached the semi-final stage but could not be completed this season. We will resume in April 2023.

The only other trophy presented at last week’s AGM was the “Most Improved Player”, which is based on improved handicap points. Simon Charrington retained the trophy, below.

We have a new AC Open Singles Champion! Roger Stearn secured victory over defending champion, Simon Charrington. A case of third time lucky for Roger! It was, however, less a matter of luck and more a case of executing a good strategy keeping Simon at bay for significant periods of the match.

Simon won the toss and elected to go first while Roger chose the sunshine colours. Simon took initial control of the game and at his third attempt to get his roll shot range and bearing, managed to get going and quickly ran six hoops before missing his approach at one-back (Simon leads 6-0). This let Roger in to play a patient tactical game, keeping blue and black at 35+ yards apart while turn by turn picking up hoop points alternately with his red and yellow, getting both to hoop six. After some sparring, and Simon unable to get black started or make progress with blue, Roger successfully made a dash to Rover with yellow (Roger leads 16-6). After more sparring, black found itself in the jaws of hoop one which Roger judged was safe to leave and give a cheap point with no other ball in its ready range. Simon had other ideas and, with blue near hoop three and red and yellow by the east boundary slightly north of hoop four, he completed the run of hoop one, striking with enough weight to be able then to run hoop two, mid-distance hit-in to blue at hoop three, run the hoop and pick up red and yellow to the east of hoop four and getting a four-ball going before breaking down at four-back (Roger leads 16-15). More sparring ensued and, with one or two missed shots on both sides, the game could still have gone either way until (at Roger leads 17-16) Roger made his break with red, also eying to peel yellow through Rover, but happy to stay patient and settled with taking red to peg, keeping blue and black at maximum distance. Simon couldn’t manage to hit-in and next turn Roger ran rover with yellow and pegged out from ten yards (26-16). Well done, Roger, a well-earned and deserved victory.

Our South East Croquet Federation ‘B’ League match versus Surbiton, away, was

duly played. With injuries and other commitments there was doubt as to whether

we’d be able to field a team. In the first of the three rounds, which was preceded by

a minute’s silence for the Queen, Hugh and Tom ground out a dogged doubles win,

6-4, versus Surbiton’s Val and Philip, while Simon benefitted from a visit to our host

club the previous week and assuredly turned the tables on Robin for a 14-3 win.

Roger S arrived in good time to substitute for Hugh for the second round, and paired

up with Simon to play Philip and Robin. The Ember pair manage to get, and stay

ahead by the time of the allotted 90 minute limit, 11-5. Meanwhile, Tom found

himself highly praising the condition of our home lawns when he found himself

lodged in hoop for the fourth time, and high handicapper Val ran out the 11-8 winner.

A welcome break for lunch, deliciously provided by Surbiton members Maxine and

Barry, consisted of spaghetti bolognese, apple crumble and custard. The final round

saw Hugh and Simon play Val and Robin; and Roger play Philip in the singles. Both

games went to time, with wins to Ember 8-4 and 9-7 respectively. So overall, a 5-1

victory for Ember, and an abiding memory of Lara, Maxine and Barry’s most elegant

Russian Wolfhound, who presents a very subtle proprietorial aura over SCC. Thank

you Surbiton, and Lara, for being perfect hosts.

On the eve of the late Queen’s funeral, Sunday 18th September, the Croquet Club had a distracting time playing a fun tournament of Golf Croquet.

We decided to play a round robin of 30-minute games. To encourage rapid play, to win the tournament each pair had to accumulate as many hoops as possible, so it did not matter too much if individual games were won or lost. As usual, we tried to match experienced players with new members or guests.

Members and guests trickled in, remembering to park on the Drive, as dutifully requested to do so by Bowls, who were hosting an important match. Tom, guru of the GC rules, paired up with Pauline, while husband Peter got lucky and joined up with dark horse Louise.

Tricia and Alan turned up next with a huge picnic hamper on wheels but were quickly encouraged to pack away the foie gras and pick up mallets. Simon partnered Tricia versus Roger and Alan, and the tournament was underway.

All Saints Church regulars, but not yet members, Ruth and Martin arrived next and were split up, joining club stalwarts Pat, with Ruth, and Geraldine, with Martin.

Finally, Simon’s old school friend David came along with wife Maxine. Yours truly needed a partner and eyed potential in Maxine, leaving David partnerless. However, Brendan was eventually persuaded to play a game, even though he was just popping in to say hello. David’s eventual permanent partner was Belita, who also just turned up to say hello and make us tea, and had the honour of subbing for Tricia, so she and Alan could devour their picnic.

Each team got more familiar with the game and the format. More hoops were run per game. Tactics were learned and applied. Mis-hits were replaced with eight-foot hoop runs and blistering hit ins.

Did I say it was a round robin? Well, time and exhaustion put paid to that, though everybody played four games. Of the eight teams, four all tied with an aggregate score of fourteen points: Simon & Tricia; Louise & Peter; Steve & Maxine; and Belita & David.

It was now five o’clock, so I decided we’d have a “closest the peg” competition, though to Tricia’s amusement it took me a while to explain how we’d do it. Finally, all was understood. Simon blew it, so did Steve. Nowhere near! Peter, Belita and David got closer. Then up steps Louise and shows us how it’s done, inches from the peg – a sure winner! Could Maxine or Tricia match that? Unfortunately not, so Louise and Peter were declared the victors of the competition.

Oh, I forgot. Simon and Tricia thought they may have won, but their fifteenth point was deemed illegal by Tom. Players with bisques are not allowed to use an extra shot to peel their partner’s ball through the hoop. Well, they can do that if they wish, but the hoop point does not count!

*

It was a terrific day and we are hopeful to do more of these events over the coming seasons, probably one in the Spring and one in the Autumn. The club is in transition, expertly managed by Simon Charrington, who has doubled the membership in the last two years. We have many new members who have joined to have fun and play the more sociable game of Golf Croquet. The club is having to adapt from an AC club, delivering rollups and competitions for experienced players, to one that offers both codes and achieves a mix of serious competitive play with more light-hearted events such as today’s. We are getting there, and that’s really down to the marvellous efforts of Simon. Thank you!!!

*

Geraldine and I got the chance to serve the bowlers drinks in the bar afterwards, and watch the sunset over the Ember sports pitches, with the union flag at half-mast. May you rest in peace, Your Majesty.

Here is a excerpt from Simon’s latest Newsletter report:

The second of our summer BBQs took place as the heatwave was starting to build.  The risk assessment provided buckets of water on hand to douse any wayward ignition.  In the event, no sparks flew and the flower beds were thankful for the drink.  A covering of light cloud in the afternoon kept the mid-thirties’ heat forecast to comfortable (enough) levels while four games of GC doubles were played, with a leisurely tea in between.  Brendan and Sam Russell provided some welcome new blood to the Sunday games, and to ready exchange of anecdotes over tea.  Well played to you both!  Thank you to all who helped, brought salads, desserts, etc, set up tables, the BBQ and so on, and cleared away at the end.  And special thanks to Steve for the event communications and co-ordination.  Any volunteers for leading this for the August BBQ, please?

A Picnic GC (or One Ball) Roll-up Day Tournament, like we had in May, is pencilled in for Sunday 18^th September.  A sign-up sheet to gauge interest will be put in the pavilion during the month.  With regards to the friendly GC match proposed by Cheam CC, no date has yet been fixed for this owing to uncertainty on our part over ability to field a team.  If you’re interested in playing in such a match sometime before the end of the season, do, please, let me know.

While our AC ‘B’ league game at Surbiton was postponed on account of the heat, we welcomed Sussex County later in the month to our scheduled home fixture.  This was, no doubt, to our advantage as their team are more familiar with playing on their ‘super-fast’ home lawns which have been prepared to stage twelve days of the GC World Championships now just started.  Getting in front on hoop, therefore, proved more of a challenge for our visitors.  At the end of Round 1 the score was 1-1, at Round 2, 3-1 to Ember.  Ember then brought out its secret weapon – a wonderful lunch, including Hugh’s poached plums with custard for dessert.  This was enough to beguile our visitors to defeat, 5-1.  Well played Ember:  Hugh, Roger S, Simon (Capt), and super-sub, Steve; and Belita for helping with the lunch.

Introductory coaching for beginners and high handicappers on Mondays 3 – 5pm continues for at least the next two weeks, then according to demand / availability after that.  Well done to Pete, Pauline, Geoff and Kate for making great progress in getting to grips with the angles!

Ember welcomed Ealing on Tuesday for an SECF B league match. We were captained by Simon Charrington (Handicap 12) joined by Roger Stearn (12) and Tom Eddy (16). Tom is keen to play home games but three short games is too much for him, so Steve Edney (12) replaced him for the final game.

Ealing brought over Ron(12), David(14) and Emma(20). The match order was switched to help Emma in her first competitive AC match, with Ron partnering her. Ember ran out 11-7 winners in this game, with Simon getting round to peg and Tom getting most of the way.

In the first singles, Roger played David. Roger win 12-9.

Steve managed to persuade Tom to continue in the second round of matches. It was getting close to lunch time and Steve wanted to munch on the ginger biscuits. Tom was partnering Roger this time against David and Emma. It was a gripping match with a valiant effort by Roger to get Ember back into it, requiring a golden (sudden death) hoop to decide it. Eventually Ealing ran it, winning the game.

Meanwhile, Simon beat Ron 14-4 in their singles, which included a respectably executed four-ball croquet shot by Ron out of corner 3, and some odd, but not fatal, aberrations from Simon.

Lunch was splendid, and thanks to Geraldine for setting up and tidying away for us.

The final set of games saw Steve come in for Tom versus Emma. Emma played very well for a deserved 10-8 victory, scoring Ealing’s second win of the match.

Very early in the final doubles game David scuffed his shot and Simon was able to hit in and having worked hard to run hoop 1 proceeded with an almost faultless 4 ball break to go to peg.  3 turns later Ealing chose to join up at hoop 1 rather than use a bisque to continue, Roger then took advantage and using a bisque to hit in proceeded run his 6 hoops and to peg out both balls. A quick game won 14 -1 and Ron sportingly complaining he had only had 1 shot.

A most enjoyable day.

The Ember Croquet team travelled over to Caterham-on-the-hill on Saturday. Our team was admirably led by Roger Stearn for the first time, who was well prepared with a copy of the AC rules, and abreast of the new B League format. Simon Charrington provided horsepower plus refreshment at both ends of the day, though sadly no bacon bap at breakfast, he redeemed himself with a slice of Coop ginger cake in the evening. The third Ember player was Steve Edney.

The B league format this year is thus: 3 players, A,B and C, per team; six 14-point games of which three are singles and three are doubles. All players must have a handicap of 10 or over. As our form player Simon (handicap 12) played Matt from Caterham in the first singles. Matt has only played the game for two years but, as a rapid improver, his handicap was 11 when the fixture was arranged and 9 on the day. Having said that Simon should have won but could not quite get to grips with his split rolls and rushes, both of which are normally his strengths. Matt came back and pipped him 8-6.

Meanwhile on the other lawn, captain Roger and Steve were paired against Frank and the elderly Ron. Frank is a 12, the same as both Ember players, whereas Ron now plays on 14, having been a 6 back in the day. Roger nursed jittery Steve round to peg but couldn’t find much form himself running three hoops, but that was enough to beat Caterham 9-5 in the allotted 90 minutes.

In the second set of games, Roger was keen to find some form from the start in his singles game against Frank, using a bisque with his 3^rd shot to create a good set up and a further bisque after a mistake at hoop 1, he proceeded almost faultlessly to take his first ball to peg.  Frank then tried to emulate Roger’s effort but used all 3 of his bisques in running 2 hoops.  Shortly afterwards with Roger having run a further hoop he found it necessary to use his final bisque to separate Frank’s balls in the corner at hoop three. Roger  took a ‘punt’ on going for hoop two while doing this, which was made. With everything then going well and some adventurous play Roger continued with the 3 balls in play (leaving Frank’s corner ball at hoop three) to run hoops three and four after which he was unexpectedly able to continue peg out and win the game 14-2.

In the doubles it was a tense and extremely close affair, with both Simon and Steve jittery and no skipper to calm them down. It was level, 7-all, at the bell and the game went into sudden death. Steve held his nerve, by getting a good rush of Matt’s ball out of the corner towards hoop six, just beyond the peg. He summoned Simon on to the court, and they agreed Steve should not take Matt’s ball over to the hoop but instead do a take-off. Thankfully, Steve’s five yard shot to the hoop was well judged and it was reasonably straightforward to run the hoop and win 8-7.

At lunch, Ember were up 3-1, and highly likely to win thanks to Roger’s big points difference win.

In the last singles, Steve played Ron who used his bisques well to make a good start. Steve continued some good form around to hoop five with his first ball, but, to ensure he ran a difficult hoop shot, sent his ball way past hoop six, with Ron’s balls too close together. Steve fell apart and wasted bisques. Sensing Steve’s despair the wily Ron picked away at him and the hoops eventually winning 12-7.

In the final doubles game Ember’s Simon and Roger played Caterham’s Matt and Frank.  Matt attempted the first break, using bisques, but found himself slightly overrunning position in front of hoop.  The Ember pair then agreed use of the first of their three bisques and Simon got going in two innings to run five hoops (including using a second bisque) when he then absent mindedly attempted to roquet again the ball he’d just roqueted, ending the turn left on hoop six.  Roger then sparred with Matt and Frank for position and hoops, in his inimitable and relentless way, and made turn by turn progress on hoops, while keeping Caterham at bay through to the end of the 90 minutes, running hoop six on the last turn of the game, resulting in a victory for Ember, 11-4.

So Ember managed to win the match 4-2. It was a very enjoyable day and Caterham were tremendous hosts.

The three amigos (Roger, Simon and Steve) feared the worst at midday on Sunday 15th May. Sheltering under the gazebo, the downpour was now relentless, and according to Roger’s five different weather apps (I exaggerate) it was going to continue until well into the afternoon.

The plan was to get an even mix of experienced members paired up with new members and guests, to run an internal GC tournament during the afternoon.

Would anyone else show? Would the boys have to retire to the bar or resort to a game of AC with puddles?

Then Geraldine arrived on her bike, shortly followed by Pat on foot. A missed call on Steve’s phone – his neighbour Don was on his way but without Linda. Then along strolled Hugh, followed by his friend Nick. The mood was lightening and so, gradually, was the rain.

It looked like we had four doubles teams, though two of the better players would have to play together. Then another message on Steve’s phone. This time his wife Karen said she’d come and play!

So the teams were picked as: Geraldine and Don; Hugh and Nick; Simon and Pat; Steve and Karen; and Roger, with the hope Tom might brave the elements after a heavy roast dinner later in the afternoon. You missed a great afternoon Tom, but you did the right thing, as it was very soggy.

As the guests had a practice on the main lawn, Roger and Steve introduced the game of Molkky Croquet to Pat. Molkky is an established game where players throw a baton shaped piece of wood at twelve numbered “pins”. To win the game a player must score precisely 50 points. If the player knocks down one of the pins, e.g. the pin numbered 6, then he will score 6 points that turn. If he knocks down “Pin 2” down as well he would score only 2 points. The maximum he can score on one turn is 12, either by knocking down “Pin 12”, or by knocking all twelve pins down such that they are all lying on the ground. As the game progresses the pins disperse and so it becomes possible to knock down specific pins. That way it becomes a more skillful game, for example, Pat needed seven points to reach fifty. He managed to knock down the “Pin 7” on its own. Previously he had exceeded fifty, so his score was reduced to 25.

What about the croquet? Well, instead of throwing the chunk of wood, Roger, Steve and Pat used their mallets to knock a croquet ball safely along the ground towards the Molkky pins, thus practicing the accuracy of their croquet shots, and preserving the much hallowed, flat croquet lawn.

Meanwhile, back to the main event. Golf Croquet!! The games progressed and were evenly contested. Each guest (Don, Nick and Karen) were given four extra shots per game (‘bisques’).

Don played admirably given it was only his second time, he listened and carried out Geraldine’s instructions to the letter and sometimes to the inch, plus he managed to keep everyone abreast of the West Ham v Man City game. One-nil, Bowen. Two-nil, think it was Bowen again. Two-one, Grealish grrrr…

Nick talked and produced measured performances too, which included a masterfully executed jump shot to great applause and doffing of caps. He would be a great asset as a member but lives down in Hampshire so he has just joined another club who play in a small field. He needs to move up the M3, or lodge with Hugh in the Summer months.

Karen armed with umbrella played some marvellous shots and ran more hoops than her erratic husband. She managed a couple of games then left Steve to play on his own. Likewise Pat played three of his allotted four games partnering Simon.

The scores of matches were as follows:

Hugh/Nick beat Geraldine/Don 7-4
Simon/Pat beat Steve/Karen 7-5
Roger beat Hugh/Nick 7-5
Geraldine/Don beat Simon/Pat 7-5
Simon/Pat beat Hugh/Nick 7-5
Roger beat Steve/Karen 7-4
Hugh/Nick beat Steve 7-3
Roger beat Geraldine/Don 7-6 (Golden Hoop)
Steve beat Geraldine/Don 7-5

So, one game left. Roger on six points with three wins, Simon (and Pat) sharing second with Hugh/Nick on 4 points, with two wins each…

Simon beat Roger 7-4…

…which meant, they were tied on six points. However, hoop difference decided the victors.

Simon and Pat won the tournament, scoring 26 hoops against 21 hoops. Roger was runner-up with 25 hoops against 22 hoops.

And as the winner walked from the lawn, the sun started to shine at last.  It was nearly 7pm by this time, the Baird’s were closing the bar, the milk had run dry, and Hugh had run off with the remainder of Don’s generous gift of Pannetone. So we all went home, after a most enjoyable day. We plan to do it again perhaps in July? We will let you know. It was introduced to encourage new members to integrate with us seasoned pros, so we will have to make sure other commitments (and the weather) do not prevent that from happening next time.

Who knew GC could be so much fun?